comfy cozy

I thought I'd take a few minutes to describe how comfy cozy my cute little "office" is.  Now, it's not exactly your standard "office".  I mean, it has 3 "walls"...I guess it would be more like a cubicle.  And there's no window, but I've worked with what I've got.  I must say---its pretty darn cutesy :)

I have a vanilla icing candle lit, and precious desk lamb, jelly beans (in case I need a snack), a variety of colored post-its, and an assortment of pens and highlighters :)  What makes my special space even more "special" is the 4 books I have propped up against my filer...makes it a little more homey.

Random thought:  Have you ever been in a position where you had to make several decisions in a very short period of time...yet you had to make everyone happy????  It's very draining.  I'm honored to be in that position, but I'm so tired as it is...and it's raining outside.  I just want to curl up in a blanket with a good book or movie and be so very content.  Oh, Dear Jesus, help me have a good attitude and not be selfish!!!

freely given

Funny how God works----

I'm reading my devotional and for some reason I'm just having the hardest time getting connected to today's reading.  So right before I just check out, I get to one sentence that had me dig a little deeper....
"...He is the answer.  The world seeks wisdom and our God has given us the mind of Christ (1 Cor2:16).  So I go to look up the verse, and I read it over and over again.

"For who has known the mind of Christ that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ."

Just in that small, simple verse, I am completely amazed and perplexed.  I can't believe that we are able to behold the mindset of our Lord!!! To think that he entrusts us with that just BLOWS ME AWAY!!!  So, of course I don't just stop there....I proceed to back up to the beginning of 1 Corinithians 2 and just read away.  I forget how much I love this book!!!  It about brings me to tears to be reminded that God has truly prepared and defined AWESOMENESS for us.  It says it plain as day:

"'No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him' 

but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit".

The fact that we can know what God's thoughts are towards us just has be stunned and amazed.  Through our relationship with Christ and His Spirit, we are able to understand what God has given us...without cost.  WOW!

granite!!!

In the car today I started day dreaming about my wedding day (because the reality hit me that it's 4 months away!!!!), and I laughed out loud when I envisioned myself falling flat on my face after they "pronounce you mr. and mrs. william griffin lewis"....literally, I saw myself falling!!! I started laughing and almost got nervous because that could TOTALLY happen!!! And it really wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary.... haha.

So---new news :) We are getting granite put into the bathrooms on THURSDAY!!!! I cannot wait!!! I'm so excited! What does that mean??? We have to pick out sinks and faucets and fixtures :)  I am sooo excited! And in honor of one of our favorite shoes (Cougar Town) I'm thinking a "bathroom warming party" will be a necessity!  AHHHH!!!! Who would have thought I'd be so excited about SINKS?!?!?!?!?!

to clarify

The last post was when I first SAW griffin....not when I first met him....

the basic story

Okay, before I get started...let me just go ahead and say what you're probably already thinking....I'm a hopeless romantic.  Yes...I am.  But I don't usually just sit contemplating love and romance 24/7.  There actually is something that usually spurs it on....like for instance: Josh Groban and cloudy days.  AHHHHH!!!!  Can I just tell you how mellow I am right now???? Super-duper-mellow-maddi.  Not. Even. Kidding.  I was going across the causeway towards the city when I just decided I was sick of listening to whatever was on the radio...so I put Mr. Groban on.  OH MY!!! First off, have I told you that my fiance can sing? And have I told you that his pitch is strangely similar to the famous Groban???? Well, it is true :) lucky me!!!! (and yes, I DO know what I am talking about---he sang "You Raise Me Up" at church this weekend....my dad cried....so you know he's legit....it's normal if I cry)  But anyway....I put Josh Groban in and just could not let myself merely listen to him on the suggested 70% volume level...he was pretty much creeping towards 90%.  I just could not stop smiling.  The sky was perfect, too.  There were SO many cumulous clouds in the sky; patches of grey; patches of bright blue.  Perfect.  And I then started to think about love...and I started to think about how much I love Griffin.  I also started to think about the very first time I saw "him".....

Normally, I would keep this super private....but I just have to share a little bit of "The Story".  I was actually the first person to notice Griffin (shocking...he's 6'3") but really....it was actually about 2 years before we even met.  He was singing on stage at church---and I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  He looked older, and at that point in my life I wasn't really thinking about dating, so I assured myself he was one of those guys that either didnt wear his wedding ring (stupid), or he was engaged/in a serious relationship.  In my head, there was absolutely no way that he was single (let alone would be interested in me).  And the strangest thing about it: he had a very close resemblence to "the guy" in my head that I pictured in my imagination whenever I would read romance novels....I know this sounds silly, but I can't even really explain to you what happened in my heart---just that first time.  It was like I had found him...and he existed.  And truly, that's all I needed to know.  He existed--regardless of whether or not we ever met--the Lord actually created this perfect specimen that I had dreamed about.  ANYWAY--- during worship, I would glance up every now and then and just look at him.  I know I had this weird questioning face because it was like a dream or one of those moments in the movies or books you read, that you know aren't real.  TOTAL OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE!!! I remember going home that night and journalling.  I remember I saved one line to say: "So I saw a guy today on stage...looks just like "him"...really strange feeling..."  Yeah....so as time is going by (I'm still in college), I see him every once in awhile when I am at church at home.  And EVERY single time that I see him my heart does this flippy-floppy thing.  I seriously cannot explain it. 

so anyway...that's the first time I met Griffin.... and that's the basic story :)

completely random "self-interview"

I feel all worlds of sick right now.  My stomach will absolutely NOT settle down!!! Nevertheless, I'm still here at work because it is better than being in the chaos of my family home on a Wednesday..... You see, I've pretty much got it down to a science.  There are certain days (and times) that I will find complete rest and peace in my family home....however, there are also certain days and times where I should NOT even consider the option.  I come from a family of 2 hard working parents, 4 kids, 3 dogs (now 2) and 1 cat (princess---poor dear).  It is CHAOS at the max the majority of the time.  Honestly, I like it.  I've never really known any different---until being afforded the opportunity to live on my own for a time....that's when I realized how much I really enjoyed my own space and the quaint solitude I was afforded in the morning and during my lunch break.  I've been learning to treasure these moments because its approaching the time when I will be on my own, and the craziness will be a short distance away. :)

Now, since I am ever increasingly bored right now....I think I'll just ramble a little bit to pass the time:

What are my thoughts on this mid-week day?  Well, honestly, these last few days have been very stressful.  Work is just work.  There is nothing that spices up the day, and I'm starting to find myself turning into a cyclical bore.  I've been noticing that the enthusiasm is draining out of my spirit.  I'm no longer that super excited individual in the evenings...I just kinda exist.  AND I HATE THAT!!!!  I don't know what needs to change...but something does!!! So my thoughts today are to really focus on the positive.  To strive to find me again.  I know its still inside...its just ACHING to come out!!!!

If I could go anywhere right now....where would I go?  The beach.  Hands down.  There is just something about the beach that calms me.  It's not like the drive of a big city...you can just relax and do whatever the heck you want :)  But I definitely think it would be something on the Atlantic coast....I'm kinda in the mood for something different like that...but still the beach.

At this moment right now, plan the perfect day:  Okay....the perfect day right now....well, lets say it was tomorrow...I would want to sleep until I woke up, which would probably be around 8:30.  I'd like to go to the gym and work out for about 1hr30min and SHOWER---of course.  Then, I'd love to go to brunch with Griffin and just laugh and talk.  I'd love to walk with him around a town or mall or something...and just dream about our future home and life together.  Then, I'd love to lay out and just listen to some easy listening music, maybe even read this book I'm trying to finish.  I'd like to shower again and get all dressed up (not necessarily dressy...just heels and a fun outfit) and go out to either BR for Tsunami or to NOLA for a good time with Griff and friends.  Then I'd like to close the evening with watching the stars with Griffin...saying good night...and journaling all about it :)

puffy eyes

I'll have to devote an entire entry (later on) to the late Buster Brown Mula (fearless first pet--chocolate lab)....just typing his name makes me lose it...and I have a patient in 2 minutes....

not sure why i wrote this...haha

I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to accomplish through today's entry....but I just felt compelled to blog....Not exaclty sure why...but I just do.....

Lately I've been a journaling fiend.  I usually am pretty consistent with journaling...but lately its been about everyday.  Normally, it's about 3or4 times a week.  I guess there has just been quite a lot of things that have been going on that I have felt compelled to talk about.  My journal is more like every single inner thought or feeling that I cannot really explain.  There are various writing styles throughout the pages of my journal: pictures, prayers, conversations, emotional rampages (haha), songs... I'm pretty sure it should be burned when I die...I mean, who would seriously want to bother themselves (and waste their time) with the petty things that clog my brain.  A lot of times it is an outlet...other times, it is merely an expression; a way that I can communicate what I actually intended to say from the start....but guess what...no one reads it, so it once again remains...not communicated...secretive almost. 

Well, it's been good for me to get out everything on the pages...but I'm a big "communication" person, so I've been thinking that maybe some of the things that I have been writing in my journal need to be talked out with someone else.  Its not bad stuff.  It's just that the journal can't exactly talk back, soooo you get what I'm saying.  I need to just talk some things out (personal goals and stuff) that have just been plaguing my head and heart....

okayy....this was a ridiculous post...sorry you had to read that

:)

the author in me

If I could write a book, I would.  I mean, not based on my life...but kinda...and it would be in the catagory of FICTION/COMEDY....because I would, of course, change the names to all the people. 

Why am I talking about this??? I'm not really sure.  I honestly don't have that great of an answer for ya, but I do know that I seriously have been contemplating it for awhile.  I just dont know exactly what it takes to "write a novel".  Maybe if I go into Barnes and Noble, I'll find something along the lines of "The Idiots Guide to Being an Author".  Maybe I'll go searching tomorrow.....

Well, let me just explain to you WHY my life could be a novel....I mean, because it would include chapters like this:

CHAPTER 12
       What seemed like pure luck, perfect timing, and the beginnings of an unforgettable night, only turned out to be one of those experiences where you choose to laugh emphatically for fear you may never stop crying. 
        The tall, charming, and handsome beau was on his way to claim the love of his life.  He had all intentions of making tonight so very memorable; so very perfect.  What he didn't expect was the sight of his soon-to-be bride curled up on the floor of the bathroom, wrenching at the pipes under the sink, with tears pouring down her face.  As he was beginning to hear his heart pounding out of his chest in one quick moment, he quickly rushes to her side to console her and try and understand what was going on.  Between sighs, gasps, and tearstained eyes she finally musters out something about losing her ring.  Yes, her engagement ring......


Okay....so that would be the beginning of the chapter.  It would be a long chapter...since Friday was a LONG night!!!

HAHA. 

Okay, here is what happened.  I decided that I wanted to clean my ring.  My boss had let me off of work 3 hours early, so I was really looking forward to what the night had to hold.  All I knew was that Griffin was suprising me tonight, and then we were going to go and hang out with friends at the Ritz.  Well, I told myself that I "was not going to leave the bathroom until that ring was back on my finger".  The last thing I remembered was putting the ring on and admiring what a fine job I did with cleaning it.  From that point forward I just remember putting on my perfume, finishing touches on my makeup and my jewelry.  Then I looked in the mirror (I actually felt pretty), then I looked at my hand...WIGGED OUT!!!! It was like it was a terrible joke...or a nightmare.  Because at that point, I was tearing my room apart.  I looked at the time and realized that Griffin would be at my house in less than 10 minutes. I HAD to find the ring before he got there.  What on earth was I going to do???  I all of a sudden had an idea (a crazy idea) that it was in the sink.  So, without thinking (or turning the water off), I proceed to unscrew the pipes under the sink.  This is where Griffin finds me: on my knees, crying crying crying, all dressed up, shaking...freaking out!!! He was like: "What on earth is wrong??" So I tell him...I'm like shaking uncontrollably.  It was really sweet because he then just cups my face and tells me to start from the beginning.  All I could do was listen. :)  As I'm verbally and mentally walking through everything I was doing...I suddenly realize that I had taken my ring off to put lotion on my legs....because I didn't want to mess up my newly cleaned ring....hahahaahahahahahahahahaaaaa.

Then, I get treated like a princess.  Seriously...my fiance is amazing.  (and that's not even a good enough word).

Towards the end of the night...all we wanted to do was get across the causeway....we get a flat tire in NEW ORLEANS...we were stuck on the side of the road from 1:00am to 3:30am.  We did not get home until 4:10am.  Yes, this is true.  and all because of a tire.

That is the synopsis....

love my life :)

a colorful desk (or "dest" if you prefer)

Not kidding...I'm like a kid in a candy store (or Griffin when he even so much as thinks about chocolate) when it comes to office supplies.  I can almost be a snob about it.  Walmart's selections just doesnt cut it.  Nothing says "Hello Desk" like a colorful assortment of highlighters, pens, sticky-notes :D, and paperclips!!!! Yeeesssssss!!!! I just love it.  Well, its sad, but I actually look forward to the times when the office is "out of supplies" and I need to make a quick run. 

I mean, THE SMELL---the ORGANIZATION---the COLLECTION of anything and everything you may need to make your tiny little work space totally bearable.  I'm smiling right now as I am admiring the tidiness of my small work space here....this morning my desk appeared rather gloomy and grey....now, it's like a work of art!!! I'm pretty sure I could put this in a portfolio if I wanted!!! LOVE.IT.

So anyway....I may be crazy (okay, I am)...but I just seriously love office supplies.  I know that a lot of girls can probably relate, but I was definitely "that" child that could not WAIT for the beginning of school/end of summer so that I could go shopping for uniforms, school shoes, pencil boxes (remember those??), looseleaf paper (now its all about laptops...dumb), binders (the zippy ones with all the pockets for pens and pencils), personal pencil sharpeners, Elmer's glue, new crayons (there is nothing like opening up a crayon box for the FIRST time), markers, colored pencils....you name it....I totally was ALL about it.  And yes, now that I have a degree, and am in the professional world, I am STILL obsessed with getting fun supplies for my office!!!

:)

"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline" rev 3:19

"God tries our faith so that we may try His faithfulness" -Anonymous

I read this morning about the refiner's fire.  A concept that I know of well, and a topic that I've heard again and again was completely brought to a whole new light.  It's funny how when you are walking through something personal, a verse you've read before just jumps out at you at the opportune time.  I kinda like it :)  But today, in particular, I was kinda broadsided with the reality to the meaning of a prayer I've been praying lately. 

"To know Christ better, to have a deeper fellowship with Him, and to be more diligent in His work" is something that I have over and over again asked God to strengthen me in.  What I didn't realize:  in praying this...I'm actually begging to be put back into the "training camp" of His kingdom :).... of course....  But should I stop praying it??? No! Not a single person who God has been used mightily has avoided the difficult developoing of their character.... Sure, at first they might not have realized it as that....but once they got broadsided with reality....it made it easier knowing that the Lord was totally in it. 

I guess that is what I need to keep telling myself.  Even admist the pieces of me that are still searching for answers to "what am I supposed to do with what You've given me", I can still find solice in knowing that the Lord IS with me through it all.  And apparently I need to learn something valuable through getting to where I'm going.  In the end, it's not about me at all....

and now this....

Soooo Day 2 of being back from an extended weekend of vaca at the beach...well, lets just say I HAVE NOT STOPPED! It's been "go go go" from the moment I woke up.  When I instantaneously popped awake about 5 minutes before my alarm
(don't you hate that---not that 5 minutes really makes all that much difference in yoyur REM cycle), I just could not bear the thought of starting the work day.  Literally, the ONLY thing that got me up was the sheer fact that I could look forward to the work day ending.  ugh.

Well, I got to the office---dragging my feet---and was met with this and that and these and those....Let me lay it out for you:

-Arrive at office BEFORE 8:00am
-Fix all necessary paperwork/prepare all devices for patient set up BEFORE 8:30AM for the set up at 10:00am in ANOTHER CITY.
-Leave office at 8:30am just to notice that I need gas and have to run a company errand BEFORE getting to the set up.
-Finally get to the location.
-Need to go over all the paperwork/re-prepare all the devices/lay out the payment plans for the patients/socialize with the office
-Set up #1 begins....what should take only 15 minutes turns into 1 HOUR.
-The next patient is about 30 minutes late....which makes me unable to do a favor for my mother which in turn becomes "my fault"...yeah.
-Run another company errand---meaning "getting my boss' watch fixed" (in the meantime I get my ring cleaned :)
-Quickly go home to make a sandwich and SIT DOWN....I almost didn't get up.
-Head back to the office only to have a STACK of work to do....did I tell you I'm really not an office person....yeah....

So now, I'm sitting at my desk because I just cannot crunch numbers/organize/input data anymore!!!!! And I look down.....I see that the heel of my shoe (you know that rubbery thing that makes the "heel" of the point) fell off..... hahahahaa. This is true.

So..... I had to vent.

Whew----

That felt better :)

So, now I will go into an office meeting where I am sure I will have more work to do when I leave it.  So....here we go.