30 October 2009


BTW: I just ripped my shirt that I changed into....yeah...great day so far.

my day already

I can already feel that today is going to be such an interesting day...Already it has errupted into chaos!!! So, I had to wake up extra early this morning to take my younger two siblings to school. No problem what-so-ever. Except for the fact that I forgot to take into account that I won't be going back home until Sunday(going out of town). Anyway...So as I stare mindlessly at my suitcase, while still in my pajamas, it hits me: I have not the slightest clue what I packed. It takes about 3 good minutes for it to register in my brain that I can either make myself late for work (and my siblings late for school), or I can just forget about the packing crisis and start getting dressed. I start getting dress, lug my suitcase (just for a couple of days) down the stairs..in stilettos. I rush over to the kitchen to grab something to eat, saddened by the fact that I can't make coffee because I don't have enough time...oh, did I mention that my mother woke me up via telephone call :) haha. So, the three of us pile into my car (after I reorganize the mess that has accumulated so that we can actually fit into the seats) and we head to school. I stop to get them breakfast, but honestly don't really remember getting there or ordering. I break out my banana...then I drop my banana on my skirt. Im thinking its a basic solid-esc food...it won't stain...right. If anyone has ever told you that bananas dont stain your clothing...THEY LIE!
So now, I have banana stained clothes, I'm so tired I can't see straight, I don't have food because...it's on my skirt...and I just realized that I didn't shave my legs. Golden move, Madeleine, just golden. So I head over to Slidell to start two early-bird set ups...And guess what: they aren't here. (that's kind of why I'm blogging).
So, as I've written this I've been thinking. I'm going to go home after this and change. Who wants to be greeted by a banana smelling individual!?!?!?

--Oh, did I mention that as I was getting out of the car to walk to the lab, my slit in the back of my skirt was all the way up. Yeah, just take it for what it is. I'm putting on a mu-mu. Not even kidding.

gonna be a long day.

23 October 2009

tidbits of the day

so I'm over the whole "haircut" fiasco.  It grows back...praise the Lord. 

ITS FRIDAY!!! I am sooo happy! I seriously cannot even begin to express how excited I am that the weekend is finally here! My sister came in town last night, my boyfriend is back from his vaca...and its the weekend...life is SOOOO good!

It's hysterical that just Monday of this week, I was looking so forward to the weekend...and now its here. Finally.

I wish I could go to the LSU/AU game this weekend, but my dad, mom, cami, and greg are going....so I'm kinda out.  HAHAHA. It's okay.  Hopefully it will be an easy win. But with the way LSU has been playing...there is no telling.

Something that I have been learning:  In the midst of times where I am confused I just literally have to LET GO and LET GOD.  Its happened in so many different areas of my life...why would now be any different.  I'm so thankful for the people that God has placed in my life who help me to see that.  Sometimes I just need a friendly reminder that: I DONT know it all :) Any you know, I'm okay with that.  Its crazy to say this, but I am so glad that I actually enjoy being told stuff...like, I don't have all of the answers and I don't need to.  It's really a great feeling!!!

So--random---but I have been saving my money.  I want to go shopping sooooo bad!!!!!! But I am refraining...except for the fact that my sis is in town and I really want to bless her :) but she doesn't know that :) which makes it more exciting for me.  I dunno...I just love to spend my money on other people. Sure I LOVE to buy for myself---I just don't. HA. I'd rather do it for someone else to see their reaction (pending they like my choice for them).  I pray all the time that God blesses me to bless others.

this was such a random blog.

22 October 2009


Got a haircut today...Let's just say it's a little shorter than I wanted.  I told myself that I was NOT going to lose it and was NOT going to make it a big deal. 

However, I just left my reflection....and I'm sad.  I liked my hair....ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20 October 2009

What to NOT eat at an Airport...

Yes, this is what I do at work...in between the CRAZINESS and the BOREDOM!

I was trying to be "informed" and keep myself updated on all the current events and stuff while at work...when I stumbled upon an interesting article called:

"Your Airport Food Survival Guide"

Since I spend a lot of my time in an airport...or have at least recently...I thought it'd be very educational.  I mean, now a days everyone is concerned about their "weight" and what-not and so-forth...soooo, I read it.  Yeah...not sure if I'm glad I read it...haha.  I feel like now I'll be more "nazi-like" about what I choose to snack on whenever I'm in the airport.  Great.  Something else I CANT eat. Perfect.

Here is the link:


16 October 2009

hard to explain

I don't really know what to say...sometimes its rather difficult to be completely honest with certain people that I have a lot of love and respect for.  I try.  Actually, I was completely honest because I didn't really see the point in lying about something that I have no problem with.  However, it doesn't matter.  Whether I'm honest or not...I just can't win with them.  I've learned over the years to accept it....but then that mentality just led me to a place where my relationship with them was just practically non-existent.  So, I decided I'd try the complete honest truth with them...and it's still driving me away.  I just don't know what to do/say.  Stubborn, traditional thinkers are just that...stubborn and traditional.  You can't get a word in edge-wise...you are never right...and don't even bother explaining yourself.  It's just really disheartening to me. 

My heart literally is sad.  I hate lying.  First off, I'm terrible at it, and I really just don't even bother with it.  So, to not lie...I tell the truth (simple concept).  But when I try and reveal my heart and express myself to them, it just...I get treated like I'm three...okay, that's an exaggeration.  I get treated like I'm eleven.

So, what do I do? I am sitting here with a lump in my throat, because I just don't know what else is expected of me....I care about the situation.  Really really care about it, so much that I have no problem with what seems to be the "issue".  It's about trust, I guess.  I do.  With all my heart I do. With-All-My-Heart.

Now I've got a headache.  It's hard living at home.  Hard to separate the ages, I guess.


14 October 2009

a friend

There's a "friend of mine" (who shall remain nameless) who has this certain passion. An intense zeal for a gift and talent that, in the depths of her heart and soul, she longs to express out. She has shared with me that there have been serious times of "drought" where she hasn't been able to really do anything but sit on it. However, she has also experienced brief moments of immense sunlight. Times where she has been able to catch a glimpse...experience a glimpse...of what it is she feels she was created to do. But once again, she feels like she's "sitting on it". She doesn't want to waste away the gifts that she's been given, however, she also doesn't want to try and make it happen. I've shared with her the importance of "God's timing". But she knows that, yet still feels...helpless. Her biggest struggle and greatest insecurity is not being confident in her talent. She's told me (I've even seen it) about the amount of true talent around her. Undeniable talent, actually. I can see how she would feel so "small" in comparison. You know the "never being good enough" mentality. And its also hard when everyone compares everyone's talent. But everyone is different...different sounds, different strokes, different moves, different hearts. She's expressed to me how she feels that there is this "powerhouse" within her...deep within...that she can't seem to harness to let out. It once again, makes her take a look at reality...the fact that maybe she isn't that "powerhouse" she feels so deep inside of her. Maybe it's too late. But I just don't agree. I think that it's NEVER too late when it's God. Yeah, it may be a little "later than expected"...but that doesn't mean its over.
I just don't really know how to encourage her.

really random thoughts

So I'm clumsy...what's new? I have successfully landed on my butt TWICE...in the same spot on the floor of my living room. You think that when I got up from falling the first time, I would have learned NOT to step there again. Right. So, I did the exact same thing---yeah. I've just accepted it.

My head hurts. My eyes I can't seem to keep open. Literally. I really don't know what's wrong. I think "maybe, I'm tired"...but I've been getting sleep (I think). It might be the fact that I literally have NOT stopped!!! I just go go go, because I feel like I'm energized. But when I stop...I stop.

22 years old. weird.


I want to sing. Real bad, but... yeah.

okay. Enough random-ness.

06 October 2009


Basically I have decided to go to grad school.

I'm really really excited about this because I feel so confident in it and ready to move forward. I can't stand the idea of complacency...I mean, stagnant water or the romantic movement of the current on the Hawaiian shores... why Hawaii? I have no clue. Just the first thing that came to me.

Anyway---It's pretty interesting the whole method that God chose to use to get me to this place. I'm really excited. Things are happening, changing, moving forward...and I'm totally okay with it...in fact, I'm SOOOO PUMPED!!!

Now, however, I am weighing my options. (gosh, I love that I have options :P) For the first time in a really long time I feel so very happy. I feel like I am where I need to be and yeah, at times its not the most secure feeling...I know it's right.

I think I could smile forever :D

Last night, it became so clear to me why Samford is just a memory...not something I really want to go back to...just a memory (a good one though). I like the future. I'm wired as a dreamer, a visionary, a planner, an activist, a driven thinker, a motivator...I'm not wired to be stuck in a place where I'm not encouraged or motivated or pushed toward anything that is greater than I can think of. I function off of reaching toward goals and dreams that, to many, seem unattainable. The past, I know, does have an impact on the future...but I'm not letting it dictate it.

I've been blessed in so many ways here at home. I can't even begin to explain it. I'm so thankful for what God has begun to do in my life. I'm thankful that He's made me appreciate everything that I have now...I've learned patience...I'm still learning patience. But everything has it's timing. Everything.