last night

Last night was one of those nights you don't plan.  It was one of those times where you "think" one thing is going to happen...you're all geared up and ready to go...then another totally unexpected thing occurs.  Well, last night I was a part of the youth worship team (which has become a normal routine-thing to do on a wednesday night for me).  I was totally ready to kick off another aspect of this series that pastor j is doing....the worship team is practicing...all of a sudden we run into a wall.  Legit wall.  The songs aren't really sounding right, the words are all confused and mushed together, AND we don't have a keyboard player.  Inner turmoil for Madeleine.  Inside there was this fight going on: you can play the piano, you love to play the piano, speak up, no don't speak up, you're there to sing.  It hits me like a ton of bricks and I just start hearing myself say: "I can play".  It was NOT me speaking at all....then, there I am ....playing the keys for one of my favorite songs: "you wont relent". 

It's hard to really convey what was going on...because my first love in music is worshipping while playing the piano and singing.  And I got to do that last night.  Something just happens to me when my hands hit the ivory keys....Even though there was no mic to my mouth, there was totally sound and worship being emitted.  I was emmersing myself so much into worship that I even hit a wrong key...hahaha.  I was like: "Lord, I worship you....B IS NOT IN THIS CHORD!" It was pretty funny!!!!

But all in all, it was beautiful.  Seriously.  I keep on replaying that moment over and over in my head...I can't really explain it to you.  The presence of the Lord totally fell....really did.  And I'm really glad that moment was taken advantage of WHEN it happened.  Because sometimes I feel like worship is rushed and overlooked...just to get to the "meat" of the whole "point of going to church".  Maybe it's just cause my heart is so linked to the musical aspect of worship, that I feel this way.... But there is something about that special MOMENT.  That instance of time where you fell the Spirit descend on you and you are left with nothing other than words of praise, adoration, and love...in turn you may cry, smile, fall on your knees, or just start praying.

I'm not putting a timeline on when and where God can "come", because there isn't.  But in turn, there is also no reason to rush it either.

All in all, I was very blessed. Very blessed to see that transpire last night :)

Okay, I'm getting off my high horse.