14 September 2010

what I feel in this moment


I've been feeling rather tense lately with work...especially work.  I've have to really condition myself to just take a moment and breathe...all to realize that my situation isn't really that bad.  HAHA.  Of course. :) It's just that in certain moments and at certain points in my day I just feel super aggravated and frustrated with where I am "professionally".  Nowhere.  I don't feel motivated or really all too worthwhile.  I keep bouncing around the big "in your 20s question": What am I really supposed to do?  And when I tell you I just simply come up blank...yeah.  No answers...no clues.  So then, I just focus on what is certain in my life.  And that makes me very very happy.  I never ever have to worry about whether or not Griffin or my family love me.  That brings a lot of peace.  But then, of course, I move back into "me" mode and start wondering what am I supposed to do??? Where do I become influential? Where do I actually feel like I'm doing something productive??? 
Once again, I come up with nothing.  Fantastic.

okay... I'm going to be happy

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