I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to accomplish through today's entry....but I just felt compelled to blog....Not exaclty sure why...but I just do.....
Lately I've been a journaling fiend. I usually am pretty consistent with journaling...but lately its been about everyday. Normally, it's about 3or4 times a week. I guess there has just been quite a lot of things that have been going on that I have felt compelled to talk about. My journal is more like every single inner thought or feeling that I cannot really explain. There are various writing styles throughout the pages of my journal: pictures, prayers, conversations, emotional rampages (haha), songs... I'm pretty sure it should be burned when I die...I mean, who would seriously want to bother themselves (and waste their time) with the petty things that clog my brain. A lot of times it is an outlet...other times, it is merely an expression; a way that I can communicate what I actually intended to say from the start....but guess what...no one reads it, so it once again remains...not communicated...secretive almost.
Well, it's been good for me to get out everything on the pages...but I'm a big "communication" person, so I've been thinking that maybe some of the things that I have been writing in my journal need to be talked out with someone else. Its not bad stuff. It's just that the journal can't exactly talk back, soooo you get what I'm saying. I need to just talk some things out (personal goals and stuff) that have just been plaguing my head and heart....
okayy....this was a ridiculous post...sorry you had to read that
:)
16 June 2010
14 June 2010
the author in me
If I could write a book, I would. I mean, not based on my life...but kinda...and it would be in the catagory of FICTION/COMEDY....because I would, of course, change the names to all the people.
Why am I talking about this??? I'm not really sure. I honestly don't have that great of an answer for ya, but I do know that I seriously have been contemplating it for awhile. I just dont know exactly what it takes to "write a novel". Maybe if I go into Barnes and Noble, I'll find something along the lines of "The Idiots Guide to Being an Author". Maybe I'll go searching tomorrow.....
Well, let me just explain to you WHY my life could be a novel....I mean, because it would include chapters like this:
CHAPTER 12
What seemed like pure luck, perfect timing, and the beginnings of an unforgettable night, only turned out to be one of those experiences where you choose to laugh emphatically for fear you may never stop crying.
The tall, charming, and handsome beau was on his way to claim the love of his life. He had all intentions of making tonight so very memorable; so very perfect. What he didn't expect was the sight of his soon-to-be bride curled up on the floor of the bathroom, wrenching at the pipes under the sink, with tears pouring down her face. As he was beginning to hear his heart pounding out of his chest in one quick moment, he quickly rushes to her side to console her and try and understand what was going on. Between sighs, gasps, and tearstained eyes she finally musters out something about losing her ring. Yes, her engagement ring......
Okay....so that would be the beginning of the chapter. It would be a long chapter...since Friday was a LONG night!!!
HAHA.
Okay, here is what happened. I decided that I wanted to clean my ring. My boss had let me off of work 3 hours early, so I was really looking forward to what the night had to hold. All I knew was that Griffin was suprising me tonight, and then we were going to go and hang out with friends at the Ritz. Well, I told myself that I "was not going to leave the bathroom until that ring was back on my finger". The last thing I remembered was putting the ring on and admiring what a fine job I did with cleaning it. From that point forward I just remember putting on my perfume, finishing touches on my makeup and my jewelry. Then I looked in the mirror (I actually felt pretty), then I looked at my hand...WIGGED OUT!!!! It was like it was a terrible joke...or a nightmare. Because at that point, I was tearing my room apart. I looked at the time and realized that Griffin would be at my house in less than 10 minutes. I HAD to find the ring before he got there. What on earth was I going to do??? I all of a sudden had an idea (a crazy idea) that it was in the sink. So, without thinking (or turning the water off), I proceed to unscrew the pipes under the sink. This is where Griffin finds me: on my knees, crying crying crying, all dressed up, shaking...freaking out!!! He was like: "What on earth is wrong??" So I tell him...I'm like shaking uncontrollably. It was really sweet because he then just cups my face and tells me to start from the beginning. All I could do was listen. :) As I'm verbally and mentally walking through everything I was doing...I suddenly realize that I had taken my ring off to put lotion on my legs....because I didn't want to mess up my newly cleaned ring....hahahaahahahahahahahahaaaaa.
Then, I get treated like a princess. Seriously...my fiance is amazing. (and that's not even a good enough word).
Towards the end of the night...all we wanted to do was get across the causeway....we get a flat tire in NEW ORLEANS...we were stuck on the side of the road from 1:00am to 3:30am. We did not get home until 4:10am. Yes, this is true. and all because of a tire.
That is the synopsis....
love my life :)
Why am I talking about this??? I'm not really sure. I honestly don't have that great of an answer for ya, but I do know that I seriously have been contemplating it for awhile. I just dont know exactly what it takes to "write a novel". Maybe if I go into Barnes and Noble, I'll find something along the lines of "The Idiots Guide to Being an Author". Maybe I'll go searching tomorrow.....
Well, let me just explain to you WHY my life could be a novel....I mean, because it would include chapters like this:
CHAPTER 12
What seemed like pure luck, perfect timing, and the beginnings of an unforgettable night, only turned out to be one of those experiences where you choose to laugh emphatically for fear you may never stop crying.
The tall, charming, and handsome beau was on his way to claim the love of his life. He had all intentions of making tonight so very memorable; so very perfect. What he didn't expect was the sight of his soon-to-be bride curled up on the floor of the bathroom, wrenching at the pipes under the sink, with tears pouring down her face. As he was beginning to hear his heart pounding out of his chest in one quick moment, he quickly rushes to her side to console her and try and understand what was going on. Between sighs, gasps, and tearstained eyes she finally musters out something about losing her ring. Yes, her engagement ring......
Okay....so that would be the beginning of the chapter. It would be a long chapter...since Friday was a LONG night!!!
HAHA.
Okay, here is what happened. I decided that I wanted to clean my ring. My boss had let me off of work 3 hours early, so I was really looking forward to what the night had to hold. All I knew was that Griffin was suprising me tonight, and then we were going to go and hang out with friends at the Ritz. Well, I told myself that I "was not going to leave the bathroom until that ring was back on my finger". The last thing I remembered was putting the ring on and admiring what a fine job I did with cleaning it. From that point forward I just remember putting on my perfume, finishing touches on my makeup and my jewelry. Then I looked in the mirror (I actually felt pretty), then I looked at my hand...WIGGED OUT!!!! It was like it was a terrible joke...or a nightmare. Because at that point, I was tearing my room apart. I looked at the time and realized that Griffin would be at my house in less than 10 minutes. I HAD to find the ring before he got there. What on earth was I going to do??? I all of a sudden had an idea (a crazy idea) that it was in the sink. So, without thinking (or turning the water off), I proceed to unscrew the pipes under the sink. This is where Griffin finds me: on my knees, crying crying crying, all dressed up, shaking...freaking out!!! He was like: "What on earth is wrong??" So I tell him...I'm like shaking uncontrollably. It was really sweet because he then just cups my face and tells me to start from the beginning. All I could do was listen. :) As I'm verbally and mentally walking through everything I was doing...I suddenly realize that I had taken my ring off to put lotion on my legs....because I didn't want to mess up my newly cleaned ring....hahahaahahahahahahahahaaaaa.
Then, I get treated like a princess. Seriously...my fiance is amazing. (and that's not even a good enough word).
Towards the end of the night...all we wanted to do was get across the causeway....we get a flat tire in NEW ORLEANS...we were stuck on the side of the road from 1:00am to 3:30am. We did not get home until 4:10am. Yes, this is true. and all because of a tire.
That is the synopsis....
love my life :)
09 June 2010
a colorful desk (or "dest" if you prefer)
Not kidding...I'm like a kid in a candy store (or Griffin when he even so much as thinks about chocolate) when it comes to office supplies. I can almost be a snob about it. Walmart's selections just doesnt cut it. Nothing says "Hello Desk" like a colorful assortment of highlighters, pens, sticky-notes :D, and paperclips!!!! Yeeesssssss!!!! I just love it. Well, its sad, but I actually look forward to the times when the office is "out of supplies" and I need to make a quick run.
I mean, THE SMELL---the ORGANIZATION---the COLLECTION of anything and everything you may need to make your tiny little work space totally bearable. I'm smiling right now as I am admiring the tidiness of my small work space here....this morning my desk appeared rather gloomy and grey....now, it's like a work of art!!! I'm pretty sure I could put this in a portfolio if I wanted!!! LOVE.IT.
So anyway....I may be crazy (okay, I am)...but I just seriously love office supplies. I know that a lot of girls can probably relate, but I was definitely "that" child that could not WAIT for the beginning of school/end of summer so that I could go shopping for uniforms, school shoes, pencil boxes (remember those??), looseleaf paper (now its all about laptops...dumb), binders (the zippy ones with all the pockets for pens and pencils), personal pencil sharpeners, Elmer's glue, new crayons (there is nothing like opening up a crayon box for the FIRST time), markers, colored pencils....you name it....I totally was ALL about it. And yes, now that I have a degree, and am in the professional world, I am STILL obsessed with getting fun supplies for my office!!!
:)
I mean, THE SMELL---the ORGANIZATION---the COLLECTION of anything and everything you may need to make your tiny little work space totally bearable. I'm smiling right now as I am admiring the tidiness of my small work space here....this morning my desk appeared rather gloomy and grey....now, it's like a work of art!!! I'm pretty sure I could put this in a portfolio if I wanted!!! LOVE.IT.
So anyway....I may be crazy (okay, I am)...but I just seriously love office supplies. I know that a lot of girls can probably relate, but I was definitely "that" child that could not WAIT for the beginning of school/end of summer so that I could go shopping for uniforms, school shoes, pencil boxes (remember those??), looseleaf paper (now its all about laptops...dumb), binders (the zippy ones with all the pockets for pens and pencils), personal pencil sharpeners, Elmer's glue, new crayons (there is nothing like opening up a crayon box for the FIRST time), markers, colored pencils....you name it....I totally was ALL about it. And yes, now that I have a degree, and am in the professional world, I am STILL obsessed with getting fun supplies for my office!!!
:)
08 June 2010
"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline" rev 3:19
"God tries our faith so that we may try His faithfulness" -Anonymous
I read this morning about the refiner's fire. A concept that I know of well, and a topic that I've heard again and again was completely brought to a whole new light. It's funny how when you are walking through something personal, a verse you've read before just jumps out at you at the opportune time. I kinda like it :) But today, in particular, I was kinda broadsided with the reality to the meaning of a prayer I've been praying lately.
"To know Christ better, to have a deeper fellowship with Him, and to be more diligent in His work" is something that I have over and over again asked God to strengthen me in. What I didn't realize: in praying this...I'm actually begging to be put back into the "training camp" of His kingdom :).... of course.... But should I stop praying it??? No! Not a single person who God has been used mightily has avoided the difficult developoing of their character.... Sure, at first they might not have realized it as that....but once they got broadsided with reality....it made it easier knowing that the Lord was totally in it.
I guess that is what I need to keep telling myself. Even admist the pieces of me that are still searching for answers to "what am I supposed to do with what You've given me", I can still find solice in knowing that the Lord IS with me through it all. And apparently I need to learn something valuable through getting to where I'm going. In the end, it's not about me at all....
I read this morning about the refiner's fire. A concept that I know of well, and a topic that I've heard again and again was completely brought to a whole new light. It's funny how when you are walking through something personal, a verse you've read before just jumps out at you at the opportune time. I kinda like it :) But today, in particular, I was kinda broadsided with the reality to the meaning of a prayer I've been praying lately.
"To know Christ better, to have a deeper fellowship with Him, and to be more diligent in His work" is something that I have over and over again asked God to strengthen me in. What I didn't realize: in praying this...I'm actually begging to be put back into the "training camp" of His kingdom :).... of course.... But should I stop praying it??? No! Not a single person who God has been used mightily has avoided the difficult developoing of their character.... Sure, at first they might not have realized it as that....but once they got broadsided with reality....it made it easier knowing that the Lord was totally in it.
I guess that is what I need to keep telling myself. Even admist the pieces of me that are still searching for answers to "what am I supposed to do with what You've given me", I can still find solice in knowing that the Lord IS with me through it all. And apparently I need to learn something valuable through getting to where I'm going. In the end, it's not about me at all....
03 June 2010
and now this....
Soooo Day 2 of being back from an extended weekend of vaca at the beach...well, lets just say I HAVE NOT STOPPED! It's been "go go go" from the moment I woke up. When I instantaneously popped awake about 5 minutes before my alarm
(don't you hate that---not that 5 minutes really makes all that much difference in yoyur REM cycle), I just could not bear the thought of starting the work day. Literally, the ONLY thing that got me up was the sheer fact that I could look forward to the work day ending. ugh.
Well, I got to the office---dragging my feet---and was met with this and that and these and those....Let me lay it out for you:
-Arrive at office BEFORE 8:00am
-Fix all necessary paperwork/prepare all devices for patient set up BEFORE 8:30AM for the set up at 10:00am in ANOTHER CITY.
-Leave office at 8:30am just to notice that I need gas and have to run a company errand BEFORE getting to the set up.
-Finally get to the location.
-Need to go over all the paperwork/re-prepare all the devices/lay out the payment plans for the patients/socialize with the office
-Set up #1 begins....what should take only 15 minutes turns into 1 HOUR.
-The next patient is about 30 minutes late....which makes me unable to do a favor for my mother which in turn becomes "my fault"...yeah.
-Run another company errand---meaning "getting my boss' watch fixed" (in the meantime I get my ring cleaned :)
-Quickly go home to make a sandwich and SIT DOWN....I almost didn't get up.
-Head back to the office only to have a STACK of work to do....did I tell you I'm really not an office person....yeah....
So now, I'm sitting at my desk because I just cannot crunch numbers/organize/input data anymore!!!!! And I look down.....I see that the heel of my shoe (you know that rubbery thing that makes the "heel" of the point) fell off..... hahahahaa. This is true.
So..... I had to vent.
Whew----
That felt better :)
So, now I will go into an office meeting where I am sure I will have more work to do when I leave it. So....here we go.
(don't you hate that---not that 5 minutes really makes all that much difference in yoyur REM cycle), I just could not bear the thought of starting the work day. Literally, the ONLY thing that got me up was the sheer fact that I could look forward to the work day ending. ugh.
Well, I got to the office---dragging my feet---and was met with this and that and these and those....Let me lay it out for you:
-Arrive at office BEFORE 8:00am
-Fix all necessary paperwork/prepare all devices for patient set up BEFORE 8:30AM for the set up at 10:00am in ANOTHER CITY.
-Leave office at 8:30am just to notice that I need gas and have to run a company errand BEFORE getting to the set up.
-Finally get to the location.
-Need to go over all the paperwork/re-prepare all the devices/lay out the payment plans for the patients/socialize with the office
-Set up #1 begins....what should take only 15 minutes turns into 1 HOUR.
-The next patient is about 30 minutes late....which makes me unable to do a favor for my mother which in turn becomes "my fault"...yeah.
-Run another company errand---meaning "getting my boss' watch fixed" (in the meantime I get my ring cleaned :)
-Quickly go home to make a sandwich and SIT DOWN....I almost didn't get up.
-Head back to the office only to have a STACK of work to do....did I tell you I'm really not an office person....yeah....
So now, I'm sitting at my desk because I just cannot crunch numbers/organize/input data anymore!!!!! And I look down.....I see that the heel of my shoe (you know that rubbery thing that makes the "heel" of the point) fell off..... hahahahaa. This is true.
So..... I had to vent.
Whew----
That felt better :)
So, now I will go into an office meeting where I am sure I will have more work to do when I leave it. So....here we go.
28 May 2010
its happening.....
Yes, dear readers....it's finally happening!!!!
THE BEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited I cannot even contain it. I literally woke up this morning already completely zoned out. I was already in VACA mode...i.e. totally not interested in work AT ALL.
However, the day has kinda dragged....but it hasn't been too bad, though. I am SOOOOOO ready to start the weekend. I'm really excited!!!!!! I want so bad to say "I need this"....but I am a true believer that EVERYONE "needs" the beach....so I will not succumb to saying that.....
anywho....it had been awhile since my last blog, so I wanted to go ahead and at least say something.....
THE BEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited I cannot even contain it. I literally woke up this morning already completely zoned out. I was already in VACA mode...i.e. totally not interested in work AT ALL.
However, the day has kinda dragged....but it hasn't been too bad, though. I am SOOOOOO ready to start the weekend. I'm really excited!!!!!! I want so bad to say "I need this"....but I am a true believer that EVERYONE "needs" the beach....so I will not succumb to saying that.....
anywho....it had been awhile since my last blog, so I wanted to go ahead and at least say something.....
18 May 2010
what NOT to do
If any of you were ever considering going to Disney World by yourself...for a little "getaway"...DONT. It is NOT a place to be alone.
Here's the deal: I was priviledged to be able to attend a conference for work (all expenses paid) in the lovely magical world of Disney. At the start of it all, my dad was going to be able to go with me...then my boss and his wife were going to come too....then my sis was going to fly up and meet me there....in the end, none of that happened. I was there---alone. At first (as you can tell by my previous blog), I was so excited to have "me time". It seemed so enticing---the idea of having a few days of vacation with plenty of time to just sit, relax, and ponder. Well, that was NOT how it was. Sure, I learned A LOT. I really enjoyed the whole conference aspect....
But sitting and eating dinner by yourself requires a certain pre-meditated mentality. Yes....you have to convince yourself that you are indeed a food critic. You are NOT awkwardly sitting alone. Yes, you have friends...in fact, you consider yourself a people person.
That's basically what I did 3 meals a day....for 4 days. But it really wasn't bad. The element that made the trip unbearable was the fact that I was in Disney World---a place where I've made so many pleasant memories with my family and friends...and no one was there to share in my excitement.
Call me crazy (which I probably am, but I don't claim to be anything less), but I actually felt tears in my throat while I was on Thunder Mountain in Magic Kingdom. It was like I was SOOO excited to finally be in Disney....but I couldnt really fully appreciate it, because there was NO ONE to share it with. Just picture me with my hands slightly raised just letting out a small bit of excitement.... as to not be "overly excited".
Ummmm and I think I mastered the art of talking to yourself without appearingd excentric.
I met all sorts of real interesting people....that's another story in itself.
Oh, let us not forget the fact that my luggage was lost....as in THEY COULD NOT FIND IT....my AC in my car was still broken....I had no gas to get home....and I came home to an empty house. Yes, you try to relax.
All in all, I just had to laugh.
Here's the deal: I was priviledged to be able to attend a conference for work (all expenses paid) in the lovely magical world of Disney. At the start of it all, my dad was going to be able to go with me...then my boss and his wife were going to come too....then my sis was going to fly up and meet me there....in the end, none of that happened. I was there---alone. At first (as you can tell by my previous blog), I was so excited to have "me time". It seemed so enticing---the idea of having a few days of vacation with plenty of time to just sit, relax, and ponder. Well, that was NOT how it was. Sure, I learned A LOT. I really enjoyed the whole conference aspect....
But sitting and eating dinner by yourself requires a certain pre-meditated mentality. Yes....you have to convince yourself that you are indeed a food critic. You are NOT awkwardly sitting alone. Yes, you have friends...in fact, you consider yourself a people person.
That's basically what I did 3 meals a day....for 4 days. But it really wasn't bad. The element that made the trip unbearable was the fact that I was in Disney World---a place where I've made so many pleasant memories with my family and friends...and no one was there to share in my excitement.
Call me crazy (which I probably am, but I don't claim to be anything less), but I actually felt tears in my throat while I was on Thunder Mountain in Magic Kingdom. It was like I was SOOO excited to finally be in Disney....but I couldnt really fully appreciate it, because there was NO ONE to share it with. Just picture me with my hands slightly raised just letting out a small bit of excitement.... as to not be "overly excited".
Ummmm and I think I mastered the art of talking to yourself without appearingd excentric.
I met all sorts of real interesting people....that's another story in itself.
Oh, let us not forget the fact that my luggage was lost....as in THEY COULD NOT FIND IT....my AC in my car was still broken....I had no gas to get home....and I came home to an empty house. Yes, you try to relax.
All in all, I just had to laugh.
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